Received my second prophetic message from Bill Jeynes today bringing so much comfort to my heavy heart right now, removing my doubts (there was only a little but that’s a little too much) and lifting my spirit back up a notch to where it needs to be. I remember standing in line and there was about four or five people in front of me, and praying in my head how I really needed to hear from Him today. This past week has been a little bit of a roller coaster, I mean my whole journey is a roller coaster but this past week has really been a doozy, which put a sliver of doubt in my mind and a desire to, quit really.
I know quitting is not an option for me and at the end of the day I never will but that doesn’t change the fact that this journey can be very difficult not to mention lonely. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t really write about the hard times, maybe I should. I take pride in being strong and well fearless, but I think maybe I don’t want people to see me as weak considering how much is riding on my success. I have no doubts I will succeed, I just didn’t realize all that would be involved. I may have graduated from spiritual bootcamp but I’m still in spiritual college so to speak and learning everything as I go, some things by trial and error, other things by faith and deep knowing and the rest from reading and studying. I won’t get a certificate or diploma from the kind of education I’m getting, but I will get a new life. A changed heart, mind and soul with the intention of helping others and helping to change others lives.
My heart was pounding as I walked up to him, I closed my eyes and this is what he said, “Dear child, we pray Lord God that you will touch her and be with her.” And then God said…
“One of my goals for you, for many of my children, but much more for you, is I want you to be appreciated more than you are. I know sometimes your patience runs low and maybe some people remember that. You really do sacrifice quite a bit for others and I wish I could say that more people deeply appreciated that sacrifice then is the case today. But I want you to know that is my goal. Some people around you, not all, but some is enough, don’t fully appreciate the sacrifices you’ve made through the years and that you do give it your best shot and one of my goals, I’m going to be working, I am going to be working, over the next two or three years, I want to open up some of their eyes and I want to make it more obvious, because you know what, that will be a blessing to them to realize it, but it will also be a blessing to you to realize they get it more now and as a result appreciate you more than they did before.” Amen
Needless to say, God didn’t disappoint, it’s almost as though He knows me lol. He knows me better than I do. I gave up everything for this journey, literally everything. My immediate family, my home in Colorado, my security, my comfort zones. My little world where everything made sense and I knew what I was doing, where I was headed and what to expect. People understood me, most of the time. One of the hardest parts of my journey, besides the loss, is nobody really gets it yet. I know with time they will but like everything else, it just doesn’t move fast enough for me. There is so much to be said for having patience. Patience in timing, patience in cycles, patience in seasons, patience in others and especially patience with myself. I may not have all the patience in the world but I’ll get there. I do however have my faith and I do have my awesome brigade, and for that I say thank you.
Love and Light