While I generally write about the good stuff, truth be told much of my journey isn’t always rainbows and butterflies and truth be told again it’s been challenging on and off since I arrived home from my road trip with Amber. I came home with a less than attractive habit, or should I say I danced a wee bit with some of my old shadows. Of all the bad habits I’ve kicked, smoking is the one I miss the most. I’m like the guy from the subway in the movie Ghost when he says, oh what I wouldn’t give for a drag.
I also returned with some pent up frustration because I couldn’t yet understand why I was still working the same job and doing the same things in a neighborhood in which I know I’ve outgrown. It wasn’t until this week that I fully understood the scope of it all, and when you’re able to see something through another lens, when you can see it from a different perspective, a different light if you will, it becomes a complete gamechanger.
I understand that it’s all about timing, but I also wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that I don’t ask for help as often as maybe I should. I am an Aries (and Leo Rising, here me roar) so I don’t generally ask for help, whether that be in the physical or spiritually speaking. A big part of my journey (perhaps the ‘hero’ aspect) has been about finding myself, my independence while overcoming co-dependency so with that said I just don’t ask for help.
Even the most awakened souls can feel off-centered, overwhelmed, or disconnected which is exactly why I did call upon my invisibles. I don’t know how you’re gonna do it I said out loud but I sure do appreciate it in advance. This was a couple weeks ago when I was still wanting to drown my sorrows in a bucket of frozen yogurt (with cookie dough) (or any type of refined sugar) like I did when I got home last month. My excuse was that I’m here having a human experience so leave me alone while I make myself feel better.
This doesn’t necessarily jive in the land of mastery mind you so needless to say my dirty little habits/secrets didn’t last long. In fact not long after asking for help I was bored at work and found myself thinking it would be a good idea to get some peanut M&M’S which definitely are not on my menu and haven’t been but being the little bratty-pants who wanted to make herself feel better with some instant gratification I went to CVS to get a box for two bucks. I normally could’ve gone to The Kite Connection across the way, however, it was raining this day, and all day, so they weren’t even open.
Keep in mind I just asked for help with this very scenario so when I arrived to the store it should’ve been no surprise that they were fresh out. The only candy on the entire shelf, and probably the only thing out in the whole store, was the candy I wanted. I laughed pretty hard as I was exiting the store and even popped my head in a liquor store on the way back only to find that they don’t even carry peanut M&M’S. Alright, there’s sign number two so consider it heard I told ’em as I declared myself over it. Actually The Kite Store being closed was sign number one so technically I had three signs.
This was a tiny drop in the bucket (no pun intended) of what the next week would hold for me in the sense of what I was gonna have to overcome. It was in the following week, last week and now this one, when I fully understood what it was all about. Complaining keeps you stuck so while I don’t complain in the first place, I’ve kept quiet about everything anyway just to be certain it wouldn’t be seen that way. Please do not mistake my frustration for ungratefulness is also something I heard myself say a couple times.
Without going into unnecessary detail, the rain brought some unforeseen challenges. It didn’t just rain, it poured, and with it came some, or should I say, a lot of leaks. At one point I found my little chamber of transformation in complete disarray with water entering in places that didn’t even make sense. I was also woken up in the middle of night to the unmistakable sound of water dripping near my head. I already had a pot in the bathroom and a bunch of towels in another corner so I grabbed another pot knowing I had to wait it out. It was in that moment though something clicked. Not only was I able to alchemize my crappy into happy in a instant, it was also in that moment that I began to understand what it was all about.
Nothing says eureka like an a-ha moment in the middle of the night with some intrusive weather. As I was laying there now in not only the comfiest bed on the planet but also the wettest because a good portion of it was now soaked, the raddest thought popped into my head. I had to laugh as I was now Goldie Hawn from the movie Overboard. It turned my frown upside down and I even found gratitude in the moment because at least I wasn’t on a couch and didn’t have smelly wet dogs crawling all over me. It was that thought process that allowed me to go back to sleep with a smile on my face. That and knowing this too shall pass, everything is temporary and I would take care of it in the morning.
It seemed as if there has been challenge after challenge since the second I got back from my trip, and that’s because it has been. The following day my a-ha moments only deepened and I now truly understand why everything is happening. Emotional neutrality is the name of my game right now. Everything is happening for me, not to me. It’s why I’m still here, it’s why I’m still working on the pier and now I get it. Every challenge, and I’ve only named a few but believe you me there’s plenty more on the scale from small to large, all of ’em have been set in place to help me learn to balance my emotions.
I’ve been fine tuning this for years actually, every time Murphy shows up I’m fine tuning my patience and understanding but it’s been like rapid fire for maybe six weeks now. It’s all been set in place to truly help me understand the concept of thinking before responding because I no longer come from a place of reacting, and certainly not overreacting. It reminds me of another one of my favorite movies, Bridget Fonda in Point of No Return when she says she never did mind the little things. I’m learning that even the big things are actually little things and nothing renders overreacting.
I’m still here because I’m still learning. I understand that I am deep in the process and without this process there can be no mastery. An energetic alchemist can transmute crappy to happy almost instantaneously and I have to pat myself on the back as I realize I’m pretty much there. I’m continuously learning which keeps me continuously moving forward, even if it feels like a snails pace sometimes. The whole concept of timing has now completely aligned with my understanding which allows me to see things differently. I’m also able to see things from an energetic point of view.
When I find myself being non-reactive, even when it’s chaotic, others are affected in a positive way. There’s energy that emanates outward when I’m swimming in my pool of peace. My ripple effect, on a multidimensional level, spreads out to others around me. When I embody living in a peaceful way, no matter what’s happening, the mastery level broadcasts peace to others. In the spiritual systems it attracts others to be in coherence with other peace holders, other masters. And I take solace in knowing I am becoming one of these masters. I do that by becoming the best version of me which is the most fearless, integrated, grounded, sovereign, heart-centered version of me possible.
Spirit gave me a message a few years ago that I have on my fridge, it now makes more sense than ever…
Find the good in every situation and be ready to make big changes in the world that you are being prepared for.
It’s all preparation for what’s to come. I still don’t know how it’s all going to unfold and I don’t know where or what’s next, but I do know I’m on my way, divinely guided, I’m a life long learner and eternally grateful. I’m learning to live in the stillness, to truly embody swimming in my pool of peace where my energy is powerful yet altogether calm. I’m learning to master the ability to stabilize energy where I don’t react, I respond. And in a perfect world, figure out how to laugh while doing it.
Happy master number day.
Love and Light
Here we are December 7th, two weeks after publishing this article and this video found its way to my feed. A video exposing not just corporations (again) but the hidden ingredients in household favorites like M&M’S. Spirt be like this is exactly why we don’t want you buying it. I was familiar with much of the content but now it’s confirmed.
There’s a growing concern, for me anyway, about all the (hidden) toxins readily available in every grocery store. They’re little red flags everywhere that have me questioning what’s left to eat safely. Don’t be bamboozled either, nothing’s truly ‘organic’ unless you grow it in your own backyard. But don’t take my word for it, see for yourself.
https://youtu.be/2AiOkEjC2WA?si=GgAch8SeQ_q-buwi
Do you drink tea? Check this one out too. I can tell you I just threw away some boxes.
https://youtu.be/8slovlk-7-I?si=VZU4qHlSoYnZh3IS
My new favorite candy is dates and walnuts eaten together. Try it, it’s delicious. And a healthy alternative to Snickers (especially if you melt some dark chocolate). Do your homework and be nice to your body.
AND THEN….a month later this video crosses my path breaking down chocolate in general. She cracked me up when she ‘leave it to the western palate to add sugar’.