Facing Fears

It’s pretty obvious my next steps these days are to focus on getting healthier. I must say I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been (in this lifetime) but there’s always room for improvement and I’m just getting started. For the past week I’ve been getting up with the sun to go skate down at the beach and have to confess that it’s become the highlight of my day. I think it’s fair to say I have now outgrown the skate center too as I only go once a week and that’s just so I can see certain faces, and have my whip cream coffee of course. The only time I really drink coffee or eat whip cream anymore but I’m sure that’ll change eventually too because getting healthier also involves constantly changing my diet to find the right balance. Although I’m also a firm believer that you have to treat yourself every now and again. In all fairness I’ve come leaps and bounds when it comes to my sugar intake, but that’s also because it’s crunch time.

Before I get to the diet aspect allow me to share with you some pretty cool moments I experienced these past couple days. Yesterday morning I was riding my bike (to the beach) alongside the backroad to the hotels when a big bird flew almost right in front of me. It was still dark so it was difficult to see, I thought maybe it was a hawk and it wasn’t until it hooted at me that I knew it was an owl. It was so spankin’ cool it almost took my breath away. I felt honored to hear his hoot, owls are quite majestic and old school when it comes to spirituality.

I experienced a pretty cool synchronicity a couple days ago. I experience synchronicity all the time but this was definitely synchronicity at its finest. Where to start. Okay like I mentioned I’ve been skating every morning and the first couple times I was skating the parking lots but thanks to the Future Proof Festival they’ve taken over the parking lots I like so it has scooched me out to the boardwalk. I prefer the parking lots because there’s less traffic but it’s whatever I’m flexible so boardwalk it is for now.

On Thursday for whatever reason (that I now know) I opted to stay in bed and meditate on my music before going to yoga and then planned on skating the boardwalk afterwards. While I was skating I ran smack into one of my favorite people from church. He was clearly coming from the ocean with his flippers in hand and sportin’ his speedo when we crossed paths and this is what I mean by synchronicity at its finest. Back it up a wee bit first, ever since the article where I talked about tackling your fears by facing ’em head on there’s been something in the back of my mind. Lets be real It’s been loitering for most of my life but lately it keeps popping back in my head. I tend to dismiss it just as fast as it creeps in. While I don’t like to use the word fear, there’s no other way to say it but that I have a fear of the ocean. A fear of swimming in it. It’s more or less sharks and I’ve always said that Jaws ruined that for me but I have a sneaky suspicion it goes much deeper than that.

I have the belief that most phobias we have in this lifetime likely stem from a previous one that’s left a pretty big imprint because chances are that’s what took you out . Was I gobbled by a shark in a past life? Maybe. With as many lifetimes as I’ve had I’d say it’s a possibility but what I can tell you is that I’m pretty sure I went down with Atlantis which would explain why I have this fear of the (deep) ocean, or at least swimming in it. That’s not something I share with anyone really so to put it in writing says a lot. I can even tell you this much, after my encounter with my buddy Scotty-pants as I call him I was thinking about the whole Atlantis thing, I even asked my guides if I was there and in doing so I became one big goosebump head to toe skating down the boardwalk. I’d even go so far as to say it’s the biggest set of gooseys I’ve ever had which was all the confirmation I needed moving forward.

I’ve always had a problem (in my later years) swimming in the ocean, I don’t want to do it. Truth be told I even have a hard time swimming in a pool by myself. I know that makes no sense because I was a swimmer in high school but it’s true I never liked swimming alone. The last time I was in the ocean was on the booze cruise in my twenties and the first stop was Catalina. We rented a small boat and the four of us went out on the open water. I jumped in at one point (liquid courage I’m sure) and when I was under water I opened my eyes. You talk about taking your breath away. It scared the shit out of me. It was dark blue as far as I could see in every direction, no beginning no ending just dark deep blue sea and it scared the living daylights outta me. I couldn’t get back in the boat fast enough. Actually, I did surf in Costa Rica and you wanna know why? There’s no sharks, the water’s too warm. And I wasn’t by myself.

When it came to pools I used to tell myself the shark would get whoever I’m swimming with first so I’ll have time to get out. It’s so silly but it’s true. Fast forward back to my buddy Scott. There is no doubt in my mind I was meant to run into him coming out of the water because it was the best way to put forth the opportunity for me to confront my fear and face it head on. I just knew that’s exactly why I was running into him. Damn those knowings lol. Before I even had a chance to think about it I was blurting out how I have a fear of the ocean and seeing him was no accident. I went so far as to say I have to overcome this fear while I’m here in Huntington Beach which was weird, kind of. Thanks Spirit because it definitely wasn’t me talking.

Turns out he swims to the buoy almost every day in the summer, he was an HB lifeguard for 46 years after all. Next thing I know I’m wondering what I just got myself into as I made it a point I wanted to join him next week. Palm slap to the forehead. I have to though, I’m a big practice what you preach kind of person so it’s something I feel I have to do, and by sharing it I’m making myself accountable. There is something mysterious and magical about the ocean and I think people tend to forget there’s more sea than land on our planet not to mention we don’t even know the half of what’s happening in it. The Abyss is case in point because I believe that movie to be pretty close to accurate.

It was funny because when I told him that I have a fear of being eaten by a shark he mentioned that that’s how he wants to go. I was like well then I guess this is just a match made in Heaven. Another slap to the forehead because I committed and there’s no backing down because all eyes are on me. I’ll be sure to give you a full report. But again it’s something I feel like I have to do, I know I have to. I’m a strong swimmer but I know this is going to be extremely difficult if not one of the hardest things I’ll ever have to do. At the same time I also can’t think of a better person to do this with. Not only is he a lifeguard (which is not a coincidence) the title says it all but he’s also a good friend, we’ve even done a couple Mexico trips with the church. Did I mention he’s an Aries? Not only is it synchronistic but it’s quite serendipitous as well, and at the end of the day I will be conquering the only fear(s) I have left in my repertoire.

Had I not gone skating after yoga on Thursday I would’ve missed my chance encounter which just proves (to me) that there’s no such thing as coincidence. Had I not been scooched to the boardwalk I would’ve missed it. This was meant to be and for reasons I’ve already expressed. It blows my mind how it works. It’s not something that can be figured out either, it just is and there’s a part in Benjamin Button where it talks about all the what ifs and how some things are simply fated or destined and it’s exactly what they were showing me and why it needed to be seen. It’s pretty magical and once again I can’t see my life unfolding any other way but magically.

Oh my gosh speaking of magical, I went to yoga before finishing this post and there’s this little Chinese guy who’s often there, he’s super nice. In fact he’s what I call Buddhist nice, I don’t know if you’ve ever met someone who practices Buddhism but they’re extremely kind. Very similar to Jesus nice. I’ve been watching him for a while and he’s always smiling. I even watched him do something on Thursday that made me say to myself, I should’ve stepped up too but he beat me to it cause he’s a super nice guy. Anyway, there’s a move in yoga that calls for you to ‘float’ to the top of your mat. I remember the first time I heard that phrase, I was like okay whatever that means because you can ‘step’ to the top of your mat too. I will neve forget the first time I literally saw this little Chinese guy (who weighs maybe 80 pounds wet) float to the top of his mat. As a matter of fact today I told him with a big ass smile that watching him float to the top of his mat is magical for me. He floats effortlessly and I just felt like sharing.

One more thing before I end this blog post, my angel numbers have been through the roof as of late. They’re coming in like rapid fire, everywhere I look boom there’s another one. I’m not even bothering with taking pictures anymore because they’re everywhere. It’s all of ’em too but especially 144, 1111, 222, 888, 9999. It’s 12:12 as I type this sentence which according to Kryon is our independence day number.

balancing my drawer at work
because it makes me laugh
WTF? How does that even happen

Love and Light