Faint of Heart
Spiritual awakenings aren’t for the faint of heart, that’s for sure. I find myself always torn between my head and my heart. I’d like to think I’m finding the happy balance between the two but it’s gonna take a lot of trial and error along with a lot of push and pull.
Not to mention hurt. And tears. But at the end of the day, one of the ultimate goals is to find that balance. Balance in everything. Without balance there can be no true harmony or peace. For me anyway and in what I picture a perfect life to be.
“No winners here. No losers either.”
Then you have an afternoon like I did. First we’ll back up to yesterday, which was a challenge, to say the least. A “tower” moment, if you will, and if you know anything about tarot. A tower moment indeed.
A very hurtful, tearful and I guess much needed moment. Words were exchanged, powerful and hurtful words that I’m sure were felt equally on both sides. No winners here. No losers either. Just a volley of accusations, assumptions and feelings and two people left to pick up the pieces. If they so choose.
Side note…..told you my growth game is strong. I just let a spider live for the first time in my life. I just noticed it on my ceiling and then watched it walk across half of it and down onto my door jam. I told him “you have two choices palsy, (another Danaism. And that’s Dana…spelled Dana but pronounced Donna) you either leave my bedroom or you seal your fate.”
It went through a crack in the door and left. But so help me God if I get bit in the night it’s curtains for every other arachnid that crosses my path. In my bedroom anyway. Strong I tell ya lol! Yeah buddy!
“In my heart I know everything is for purpose.”
Back to my day after working 10 hours. Then you meet people who say things you wish others would say. I was told by the Omniride driver today that I was meant to be something big, like a leader. Coming from a guy who knows a fraction of my story, none of my triumphs over challenges. Just my feisty, tenacious attitude with a smile that never quits. Felt good. I definitely needed it.
So I asked my angels for a sign last night. Kind of a desperate cry for help, really, after my tower moment. Please, I begged, tell me I’m on the right path, tell me this is all supposed to be happening. Give me a sign. Usually I ask for something specific but I was so distraught and sad I just asked for a stinkin’ sign lol.
In my heart I know everything is for purpose. I believe everything I’ve gone through, am going through and still have yet to go through, it’s all for purpose. It’s all little pieces to the big puzzle picture I have yet to experience. And today, this evening, I heard the song. I’ve been brought to my knees a few times since my awakening. Tonight was another.
I firmly believe my angels communicate through music, I do. And tonight I heard this song and it brought me to my knees and my flood gates opened and I felt relief. I felt the comfort of my angels and I felt their strength and presence which gives me the strength and desire to keep on truckin’.
I have faith the doors will continue to open and the path will continue to be paved and I will be who I’m meant to be. without faith, I truly believe you have nothing. It’s hard to have faith in something you can’t see. Faith is real.
Angels are real. And my gratitude doesn’t get any more real. Thank you God, thank you Devine, thank you Universe. And thank you mom.
I miss you and love you even more.
— Melissa Parker
— Your Friendly Neighborhood Fearless Leader