I don’t know what’s wrong with me, maybe it’s the fact that we’re in Aries season which is all about new beginnings and moving forward and yet there’s like four planets still chillin’ in Pisces creating this push pull effect. Then the lunar eclipse on top of that just adds to the full moon making it feel like it’s on steroids. I can only imagine how it’s gonna be for the solar eclipse in a week and a half. Then we’ve got Mercury going retrograde on the 1st which is gonna slow everything down even more. I feel like Macaulay Culkin with his hands on his face from Home Alone. From what I understand it’s best to just lay low right now and not add any fuel to the fire which sucks cause I’m raring to go, I just don’t know where.
The only thing that got me out of bed this morning was going the skate center, but even there I’m not feeling my happy go lucky self, it was weird. What wasn’t weird was all the signs I received, on top of seeing angel number 444 a few times on the way. Spirit was letting me know they were there like they always do and this time it was in the form of sweatshirts. There was one that read it’s okay to not be okay which brought tears to my eyes. Is it okay to go buy a pack of smokes too cause that’s what I really wanna do. Either that or go eat a cheesecake but then I’d be like doh! I’ve been working really hard on my diet and exercise, I’ve lost seven pounds in the last month and half so cheesecake’s out.
A black sweatshirt with a big ass smiley face which is my personal sign for my invisibles. Another sweatshirt with I heart LA which is I heart Los Angeles which translates into I love the angels. The struggle is real was another one. There was also a girl with 1111 tattooed on her thigh. The other thigh said something in Spanish, I forget exactly what it was now, she told me it was something her nana always used to say to her but it was something along the lines of blessed by God.
After skating I went to CVS to look for a Burt’s Bees product and on my way out (empty handed) I was joking when I told the Chinese chick behind me, let me get that for you, talking about the automatic door. I would’ve held the door for her anyway but I was joking because it was automatic. We had a good laugh together and her response melted my heart. She said all cute in her Asian accent, “oh thank you, God sent you to be nice to me today.” It almost stopped me in my tracks. I mean come on.
In the car I was thinking, which I think is part of my problem right now, I’m overthinking everything (again). I was sitting at the light and the thought that went through my mind waiting for the light to change was, I know I’m here for more than just being nice to people and in that exact moment a butterfly fluttered across the intersection. I mean come on again. It’s 2:22 as I type this sentence and am nudged to look at the clock. Thanks for the all the signs but I still want that pack of smokes lol. I think I’m gonna take a nap instead though.
Maybe it’s another dark night of the soul. That Jordan Peterson video led me to another video titled Zeitgeist, there’s something about me and rabbit holes. I’m only twenty minutes into it from last night and already I’m shaking my head. There’s so many injustices in our world right now. This one’s about money and debt and how corrupt it is. I’m a little embarrassed to say I had no idea, economics was never my strong suit but it’s about how they pull money out of thin air only to make more off us through interest in loans. How they put us in debt to keep us in debt. Kind of like how they make us sick and keep us sick. I don’t even know if I want to finish it, there’s still an hour and a half left.
It’s no wonder I don’t want to be on this timeline but at the same time I want to know. Knowledge is power and I spent so much of my twenties and thirties with a foggy brain on top of just being asleep and oblivious to it all, it’s like I’m trying to play catchup and it’s making my head hurt. Awww I just had the best memory of my brother with the word catchup. I was sitting next to him in the theater watching Pulp Fiction when she told that tomato joke. I think that’s the hardest I’ve ever seen him laugh. For real, he cried he laughed so hard. What a great visual, I’ll end with that heart warming memory.
Love and Light