As I sit here and do some self-reflection I think about everything I’ve been through since my original awakening, the days, months and years following my initial tower moment. Today marks the anniversary of the day when everything changed for me. Five years ago my mother transitioned to the other side of the veil not only to help guide me through this journey but to actually become one with me again.
We weren’t able to have her celebration of life until three months later thanks to the pandemic but that’s okay because over the years I’ve learned to spend each and every day celebrating not only her life but mine as well. She has taught me so much and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her and long for the moment when I too transition and return Home.
Earth is but a flash in the pan compared to eternity and it’s funny because I joke that I don’t know what’s scarier, the act of actually dying or knowing that we never really die…like ever. What do you mean we’re eternal? Neither of them are really ‘scary’ which is also why it’s a joke, but sometimes a break sounds pretty good. But then I have to remind myself that only Earth feels like you need a break because it’s difficult by design.
I’ve received some loving messages from my team lately as they are well aware I’m, I wouldn’t say having a hard time because I have everything I need, but feeling restless and anxious because I’m itching for something more. I can’t even specify really because I know my life is about to change, it’s the when that I don’t know and it’s the how too that I have to surrender as well.
Side note and edit after the fact…I just learned that restlessness is the body’s way of adjusting to the energic shifts. There must be quite a bit of adjusting going on around here then, lemme tell ya.
My isolation has served its purpose though and perhaps that’s the change I’m most looking forward to. Until it happens and then watch, I’ll be like can I go back to my own little bubble again? Isn’t that always the way of it, seems like we always want what we can’t have. Maybe, maybe not, however that is a old and outdated belief system I just caught myself in and now I’m thinking that I’m gonna go ahead and erase…erase…erase.
Believe it or not, it’s that simple to change a belief system. It’s okay to change your mind too, of course that’s small on a spectrum of beliefs that reaches far and wide. I’ve also heard it visualized on a chalkboard, or dry erase board, haha I’m old school, to see yourself literally erasing whatever it is you want to let go of. And then let it go, do your best not to think about it and simply move forward.
As far as I may have come I still catch myself needing to release old belief systems that no longer serve me. Understandable considering all the programming that we’ve all endured since the day we were born and that belief system is a great example. It’s crazy when you stop and think about it, conditioning institutions are everywhere.
The education system doesn’t teach you how to think but rather what to think, while the level you’re at just prepares you for the next. Take grade school for example, the bell rings, you move. The teacher speaks, you listen. Next is junior high and then high school where your grades don’t necessarily measure intelligence, they measure compliance. I find it interesting that I barely graduated high school (thanks to Geometry and Government) but my GPA in college was almost a 4.0.
That was junior college. I’m not even going to finish big college at Regis University, and not just because it’s a Jesuit school and I now understand exactly what that is but for the simple fact that society says I have to. No I don’t. College, in my opinion, just trains you for the 9 to 5. You could argue that I’m not where I want to be without another degree and you wouldn’t be wrong however I’m not done either.
Then you’ve got, speaking of government, another social institution that doesn’t have your best interest in mind. Then there’s the media who delivers disinformation, misinformation and fake news with prepackaged opinions put in place so you don’t even have to think for yourself. They tell you who to trust and who to hate and what to fear. Then you add friends and family to the mix, and forget about it, it’s exhausting.
Self-refection is key as it gives you a chance to not just realize how far you have come but it also gives you the chance to better yourself and then reprogram yourself. Internal dialog is imperative, it’s that monologue inside your head that allows you to catch yourself and make corrections when necessary. On the flip side, the other important key is learning how and when to shut it off.
Society tends to get stuck in routines never challenging our belief systems or asking questions. It’s that innate curiosity that’s necessary for growth. We should never stop asking questions. In fact, with todays day and age we need to question everything! We need to be brutally honest and not just with ourselves but with each other, uncomfortable truths are the ones we oftentimes need the most.
I didn’t realize any of this until I was put in isolation where I was then forced to see. An awakening is the beginning to a lifelong journey that is intended to grow your soul and give you the awareness not just of yourself but of our reality which is so much bigger than you could ever fathom.
All the distractions are set in place to keep you from thinking, not just for yourself but about your existence as a whole. Where we really came from, that unmistakable Oneness that connects us to everything, the stardust we’re really made of in our blood and in our bones, and where we really go when we die which is back into the eternal energy from which we came. But at the end of the day it is a choice, to stay asleep or break free from the chains that bind that have caged us for millennia.
Isolation not only gave me the chance to learn everything by detaching from the systems control mechanisms but it also gave me a chance to heal. Isolation heals yes it does. Maybe not everybody has the chance to isolate as much as I have, but maybe not everybody needs it as much as I did, nor does everybody have a stellium in their 9th House which is all about personal and spiritual growth.
Perhaps not everybody has a laundry list of forgiveness that starts with oneself, nor does everybody have an insatiable thirst for knowledge that came with an awakening. Or do we? And will we?
I started this post yesterday knowing I would finish it today. I just returned from my skate sesh and Spirit snuck this into my playlist. I love surprises from the unseen also known as my team, in fact I live for it. Thank you Spirit.
She’s got the power to be, the power to give, the power to see.
This song followed by the one reminding me heaven’s gotta plan for me. You know, Swedish House Mafia’s Don’t You Worry Child, great song. I know I’m not done, Spirit knows I’m not done and actually we all have a sneaky suspicion it’s just begun.
I am going to end this blog post with the most beautiful quote, I can’t even remember where I heard it. But as I spend the rest of this beautiful day thinking about my beautiful mother and all the other loved ones I’ve lost along the way, I say…I miss you, and love you even more.
Be the things you love the most about the people who are gone.
Namaste