Needless to say things have been exceptionally quiet which is cool and all but that always leaves room for not doubt perse but questioning right along with restlessness. My healing process is moving at a snails pace when it comes to my wrist but I think that’s by design for a few reasons. I’ve heard that it’s imperative to rest while my inner transformations are taking place. Between solar flares, magnetic pole shifts and downloading light codes I think roller skating daily might not have been the best idea.
Everything’s happening on an energetic level and while it certainly can be felt it’s not something that happens overnight or can be seen by simply looking in the mirror. A whole season though is how long it’s taking my wrist to heal. It’s slow-going however it is healing but I’ll tell you what, I’ve never wanted to get back to yoga more than I do right this second. I figure a few more weeks and I’ll be there. Hopefully.
It’s funny though because a couple weeks ago I had a thought pop into my head that I could probably start swimming which is something I enjoy doing I’m just not a fan of the gym, and after two junior great white sharks breached at the last surfing competition it’s safe to say the ocean’s out. Spirit thought swimming would be a good idea too, and speaking of sharks, because the movie Jaws showed up in my YouTube feed. I even saw a kid with a black and white Jaws t-shirt while I was out and about one day.
After a week of the movie not going away I knew my team had something to say, it is one of my top 10 favorite movies of all time and I did purchase it years ago. The first time around I thought maybe something was happening on or around the 4th of July considering that’s right around the corner but then I was like you can’t put a time frame on anything so that theory went out the window. The movie kept showing up after watching it so clearly there was still something for me. I started it again and within the first ten minutes it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I wasn’t even watching it, I was listening to it while I was cleaning and I heard it loud and clear when she said let’s go SWIMMING right before she’s gobbled up in the very beginning. Fun fact, did you know they filmed that scene by pulling her with two ropes underwater and one on each side? True story. I laughed when ‘swimming’ clicked and didn’t even finish the movie. I’ve started swimming at 24 Hour Fitness whether I’m comfortable or not and wouldn’t you know it, I love it and the movie has since vanished from my feed. I love how Spirit communicates which is in so many different ways but for me movies, videos and titles are big ones.
Took a day trip to Rosarito with one of my sister friends who needed to take her Yorkie to the vet to have some teeth pulled. I would say unbelievable but believe it cause we were there, it cost $75 all said and done (anesthesia and antibiotics too) which would’ve cost $800 here in the states. I shake my head in disbelief at all the greed that’s happening around the world, it actually makes me a wee bit sad. I know it’s ending but when this process is generation driven that means it’s not happening any time super soon.
It’s always nice to have a little reminder of how good I actually have it. Everybody needs a slice of humble pie every now and again. I may feel as though I’ve outgrown some if not all of my situations here in HB, and while I have, I still need to be patient because it’s all about timing. I’m starting to get annoyed for lack of a better word when customers tell me how lucky I am with my job. Yeah it’s cool to work literally on the beach but frustrating when I can’t reply with it’s not that cool when I’m here to change the world.
It’s hard to have a spring in your step when you feel like you’re walking through mud sometimes. I’m walking around with a smile on my face but it’s not always truly authentic, it’s hard to be your true authentic self when you can’t even express to those around you what you feel and how you think. There’s this push pull going on that’s got me kind of bummed out I’m not gonna lie. It’s got me in this funk that’s not me. My inspiration feels like it’s at a stand still especially when the messages I do get are to dig deep and stay positive.
I have to remind myself that my job is more than pushing buttons on a register. It’s my positive attitude and good vibes that touch peoples lives, it’s that invisible force that works on an energetic level that might change the way people think about a situation not to mention is manifesting all my hopes and wishes. I get frustrated when things don’t happen fast enough which is understandable with all my fire placements and is why I tattooed the angel symbol for patience on my wrist.
I’m ready for the next phase and while I know it’s coming, it has to be, it’s the next evolutionary step, it just doesn’t happen fast enough. I also have to remember that there’s reasons, reasons I don’t see and can’t possibly know which is what makes my journey so unpredictable. It can be difficult to trust in the unknown. Everything will manifest itself when it’s right and I know this, I’m just having a hard time with it these days. Letting go of the urgency is easier said than done when you’re ready to level up.
I’m itching for one of my knowings, anxiously anticipating an indescribable feeling that drives me to the point of no return. It’s an unstoppable force that’s followed by alignments and synchronicities beyond imagination, when everything just falls into place because it’s simply meant to be. Like knowing the day after my mom passed (in 2020) that her death had something to do with me. Knowing my next move six months later was to let go of almost everything I owned and leave the country. Another example was waking up one morning (last summer) and knowing it was time to go get my storage unit in Colorado.
Knowing I had to be at the Kryon conference two summers ago, and then the Disclosure Festival a year and a half later. I can’t explain it but with both of these conferences I just knew the second it crossed my path which were videos on YouTube in some way, I just knew I had to attend. They both cost a pretty penny and both times money showed up. In fact, my brother paid my $700 Luxor stay with the inheritance he left me. Everything has a way of working itself out, especially when it’s a destined path I’ll call my awakening.
I’m ready for my next knowing to show itself. I already have an inkling and that’s that I’m here to do extraordinary things. I can’t help but feel like my purpose here is so much bigger than I can possibly imagine which is why it’s hard for me to visualize it all, I have no idea exactly what it is. I have bits and pieces but I’ve stopped trying to figure it out which at the same time is exactly why it’s making it so hard to hurry up and wait. 
I did receive this image of encouragement. A reminder of how far I’ve come and how little I have to wait for what’s next.
The irony here is that I have no idea if that circle represents my whole life or just these past five years. Haha so that little blip of what’s left could be three months or three years. I’ve been in training my whole life without even knowing it, all my trials and tribulations have been for purpose and come with reasons I have yet to understand. I can guess it’s so I can learn to forgive myself whilst not judging others, so I have more compassion, or that it makes me relatable but the truth is I feel like it has to be so much more. Somehow in the soup of it all I feel like it has to do with power without permission and love with no conditions.
On the stage of life a change of scene can further the action. A quote from my April 13 page of The Secret Language of Birthdays book. It’s speaking volumes to me leaving me with this yearning for something new. A way out of this corner I can’t help but feel like I’ve been lovingly backed into. I can’t help but feel like I’m being held back, being restrained and kept hidden for reasons I have yet to fully understand. I came here to do hard things, I’ve done hard things and I’ve learned hard lessons. I’m ready to do extraordinary things and learn incomprehensible ways of being. I’m ready to tune into my divine potential and help bring this world into peace and harmony.
Thanks team. Happy Fathers Day.
Love and Light