My brother’s been weighing heavy on my mind these past couple days, perhaps it’s because we recently moved into Virgo season and he was a cusper as I call ’em. He was on the cusp of Virgo and Libra. It could also be because his dog tags have fallen from where they hang twice this week. For whichever reason I was thinking about him and his life, I discovered he was actually a life path 11 which blew my mind. For whatever reason again recently I added up his numbers and was taken aback that his was a master number. I stand firm in the belief we come to this planet with a blueprint of destined events. Sure we have free will, that and our compassion is what make the human experience so special, but we also have windows of opportunities or mile markers that we set for ourselves before we arrive.
I was trippin’ on my brothers window of opportunity with the military. Although my brother was a badass Airborne Ranger, he wasn’t in the Army for very long. He said he got out for our mother but if you ask me I disagree. The military changed my brother and he was never the same but that’s a conversation for another day, or maybe not because it’s neither here nor there now. I was trippin’ on the fact that I personally think it was destined for him, or it was written in his blueprint so his funeral expenses would be paid for. It may seem morbid to some but for me it was confirmation that our life is truly planned out. Call me crazy but these are some of the things I sit and think about. I do need to stop calling myself crazy though because I’m far from crazy, I’m simply wide awake.
It was actually a pretty cool aha moment, that along with the belief that he also exited this planet at the exact time he did in order to help me advance on my journey. To think he agreed to incarnate as my brother, join the military, live a pretty ‘normal’ life in Huntington Beach and allow me to come stay with him. In reality he brought me to HB so I could heal and expand and grow. He taught me some valuable lessons and then succumbed to alcoholism and transitioned at the young age of 51 (to help me out). He knew it but then agreed to be born with amnesia (like all of us) so as not to mess it up so to speak. How do you thank some one for that? Especially when they left before you had the chance. That’s quite the contract, talk about hero.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I believe him and my mom both lived and died in order to help make sure my journey was and is a successful one. Those are some pretty tall orders of selflessness not to mention ultimate sacrifices of unconditional love. Now they’re my biggest cheerleaders watching my every move from the other side of the veil and I know they are just as excited to watch this unfold as I am. These thoughts have 100% made me feel some serious gratitude I feel like I’ve overlooked until right now. I couldn’t be more grateful for my team of invisibles who never leave my side and are continuously helping in every which way from signs and synchronicities for reassurance to dreams which help me put puzzle pieces together to thoughts in my head to help heal my heart as I go. It’s the never ending process of healing. The aching of a broken heart from the loss of a loved one never goes away but it does get easier with time.
I love you John Henry.
It’s 10:27pm
Love and Light