I recently mentioned my real life rollercoaster, this past week has been full of ups and downs that have had me from one end to the other on the spectrum of emotions. Annoyingly all over the board but at the same time knowing I need to recognize them, address them and really feel them and then yesterday on my bike ride it clicked…I’m somewhere either in the beginning, middle or end of the death of my ego. I even pulled the Death card a few days ago but didn’t put it together until yesterday.
By definition ego death is a complete loss of subjective self-identity and according to Carl Jung it refers to a fundamental transformation of the psyche. The way I see it, it’s like the grand finale or the finals week of exams for whatever school you’ve been attending. Perhaps I’ve been going through this for more than a week but it’s been this past week that I’m really feeling it, like I said I have no idea whether it’s the beginning, middle or end. I’m praying I’m at the end.
An ego death is the realization that you’re not your ego or sense of self, but rather a spiritual being. It’s about letting go of who you think you are or who you’ve been up until now and you come to the conclusion that that’s not who you really are. It’s almost like saying good bye to another loved one, some days are better than others but it’s hard to let go. I’m at the point where I don’t need validation from anyone anymore, I know who I am, what I am and where I came from but at the same time I find myself resisting it. I can almost hear my higher self say, um hey, why don’t you go reread the last like 5-10 posts, maybe that’ll jog your memory.
I think the hardest part is that I don’t know exactly where I’m going or exactly how I’ll get there which is exactly what faith is all about and I know this. My mission is destined and I also know this so why is it so hard for me to let go and let it just happen? Because my ego is in survival mode, our egos are always in survival mode which isn’t always a bad thing. In fact we need our ego just to get out of bed every morning, but how much do we let our ego control every aspect of our life? I’ve done the work, I’ve spent the last four years doing my homework so I’m well aware of what the ego is all about.
I wouldn’t say I’m resisting it, I welcome it with open arms but I have to let my ego completely die in order to do that and that means letting go and completely surrendering to the process knowing full well I’m destined for success. I did not reincarnate this lifetime without significant purpose. I just need to fully believe it.
Now it all makes sense with seeing and hearing to believe in myself. I’ve been seeing it everywhere for the past month or so, probably longer. I’d question it and be like I do believe in myself but now I’m like oohhh, now I get it. It is by the far the best example of so much easier said than done but I’m trying and giving it my all which means I’m constantly having to catch myself in thought (when those doubts arise) and remind myself of who I am. I am a spiritual being having a human experience, and that’s even before I remind myself I’m an Earth Angelic of the 144. Not knowing the outcome is part of the magical process and all it’s wonderful surprises. The ego doesn’t particularly care for surprises so it’ll do whatever it has to do to keep itself safe. You can’t say it’s intentions are necessarily bad but when it runs ramped it becomes detrimental.
I had no idea the death of my ego would be so hard though. I’m actually in tears as I read that message above and type this sentence. It has to be by far the biggest leap of faith ever. Now that I think about it I also pulled the Fool card right after the Death card and the fool is all about new beginnings and taking a leap of faith which exactly where I’m at lol and is exactly why divination tools are so awesome. The ego will play tricks on the mind, do whatever it has to do to make you feel better, or what it thinks makes you feel better and a lot of that stems from childhood and what you were conditioned with and belief systems you were raised with.
Let’s not confuse ego death with dark night of the soul. Dark night of the soul, been there done that umpteen times, is when one’s belief systems crash or crumble and everything you thought to be known and true turns out to be false or foe. It’s also compared to lightning striking and the Tower in the land of tarot. Death of the ego is about expansion and evolution whereas tower moments are about breaking down your foundations so you can rebuild with a more solid stable one, one full of truth and honestly.
This whole process has also got me restless right now though, especially at work. If It wasn’t for my ultimate playlist with almost 400 songs I think I’d lose my mind. It’s really hard being at a place of employment when you know you’re here for something much more than retail. Don’t get me wrong, my job is great for many reasons but I’m not here to sell sweatshirts or sell seashells by the sea shore, my name’s not Sally. Perhaps it’s all the energy coming from the super new moon, it’s actually the 2nd new moon in a series of 5 super new moons occurring in a row. They play their part in the powerful chapter for new beginnings and healing-change in the human psyche. This super new moon in Pisces is seeding several profound cosmic events…
- March Equinox on the 19th
- Astrological New Year on the 21st (when the sun moves into Aries yay)
- Lunar South Node Eclipse (with the full moon) on the 25th
Not to mention all the life path altering transformations coming up in April which by the way will be the most powerful month for ascension energies. This super moon is setting the stage for it all. It’s time to get in touch with your emotions as they’re key factors in delivering information about our levels of alignment with the universal harmony with our body, mind and soul.
This new moon is raising our emotional sensitivity and expanding our awareness of important inner truths. Another fascinating alignment during this new super moon is the sun and the moon positioned in conjunction between Saturn and Neptune. It will be giving us a glimpse for what’s to come in 2025 and 2026 symbolizing the fall of the old world and the rising of the new. 
The last time we had this alignment was November 1989 during the collapse of the Berlin wall so hang on to your hats and glasses people. It will be a glimpse of what needs to dissolve in order to make way for the new which in my opinion feels like it’s just about everything, right? Talk about falling apart so it can come back together, we are about to enter into some crazy ass times. At the end of the day it’s a whole collective collaboration into a higher level of awareness in order to get in touch with our oneness. It’s all for purpose for the awakening of others where we will rise up stand up for what’s true and best for our highest good. The more we come together the more we realize and function according to our oneness and the more powerfully we will heal as a collective.
So hang in there, set some intentions, do something nice just because and love because you can.
