I had a root canal this morning, no biggie, I’ve crowned myself queen of ’em. If I had a dollar for every syringe I’ve taken to the mouth throughout my life, well it’d be a lot. I do have to say though that I’m extremely grateful for Dr. Ayoub and his team for all the awesome work they’ve done thus far. Super grateful, always thankful. That’s actually become my new mantra, I say it often. Quick side note, about a week or so ago I saw a little girl wearing a t-shirt that said just that and ever since then it’s become something I say on a daily.
My dentist appointment was pretty rad today. A little more than half way through the procedure my dentist announces that we’re gonna take a quick break for whatever his reason was, I dunno. What I do know is that my first reaction was like, wait what? There’s no breaks here, let’s finish this shit lol. I didn’t say that of course but I was certainly thinking it. So he stepped out, as did Rosie his assistant and left me sitting there looking out the windows, or my room with a view as I call it because I’ve spent many hours in that chair looking out the windows. It’s the back corner room with nothing but windows so at least there’s lots to look at. Shortly after they left I noticed a Japanese beetle buzzing around outside. I don’t know if it’s a Japanese beetle or a June bug and it doesn’t really matter. It’s actually a scarab beetle which is highly spiritual and if you didn’t know I associate those with my mother so every time I see one I say hello. But for all intensive purposes I’m gonna call ’em Japanese beetles.
Another quick side note, I was having a conversation with the guy working the information kiosk at the pier the day before the storm arrived. I was picking his brain on what he anticipated because one I don’t have a television so I’m not watching the news and two they exaggerate anyway so I was more interested in a locals opinion. As we were talking a Japanese beetle flew almost in between us and he goes, “hi grandma” and I was like hey that’s my mom. Someone had told him that every time he saw one it was his grandma showing him that she was still with him. We got a good laugh and I gotta tell ya I was pleasantly surprised that someone else had that same belief. I’m sure many people do but I was just thrilled I had actually met one.
I’m sitting in the chair watching the beetle and thanking my mom for joining me at my dentist appointment which there was no doubt in my mind she wasn’t there, my mom had a hard time with dentists her whole life so I knew she was right there with me. But in that moment the next song to play on the radio was one of my mommy songs. Justin Bieber, or the Biebs as I call him, his song Ghost started playing and needless to say the flood gates opened as it was some serious confirmation that she sure was right there with me. Thank goodness I had my pink bib on cause that’s what I used to catch the silent tears that instantly swelled up in my eyes when the flood gates opened.
And I kid you not, as soon as that song ended I had just enough time to compose myself when Dr. Ayoub returned to finish the job. It was so beautiful though, I’m telling ya it never gets old. I have these signs and synchronicities more often than not and besides actually having my mother back, I wouldn’t trade ’em for anything in the world. I’ve said before that I feel closer to my mom now than I did before she passed and it’s an absolute truth. Don’t get me wrong I was close with my mom but I did live 1600 miles away for 15 years and was living in Colorado when she did transition. We spoke on the phone usually every Sunday and oftentimes in between but I get different signs from my mom almost every single day and for that I say thank you. I miss you and love you even more.
You know, there’s huge healing modalities with crying. Crying is so healthy whether it be a little or a lot because every situation calls for something different of course but it’s a release. Why do think woman live longer than men, on a technical note anyway. Women also talk more about stuff which is another reason. It drives me a little nutty when I hear about how men can’t cry, or rather when I think about the belief system that men don’t, or can’t cry. Real men cry. Everybody needs a good cry every now and again. You just want to make sure you don’t get stuck in it. You have to feel whatever the emotion is that you’re feeling and then release it and let it go.
I think it was the Leo King, David Palmer, who said they put tears under a microscope and they look like fractals but they’re little nerve endings. So when the memory in your neurons in your brain lets say when you’re grieving, like when someone dies or a relationship is over, crying is the best thing you can do because it releases tiny nerves that are the memories attached to the cells in your body and it releases them. You’ll still miss the people but crying releases the actual physical, the actual process of that memory embodied with the emotion and let’s it out. People who don’t cry or release their emotions are the ones who generally suffer from heart attacks and strokes because those neurons have nowhere to go, when the memory neurons are never released they just start stacking up.
Love and Light