The Art Of Holding Horses

I know what’s wrong with me, it’s what’s always wrong with me when I’m feeling this way, when I just have to be. I was nudged to take my own advice which is nothing new really, they directed me to listen to my article about the metaphoric train. It worked, I get it but it’s easier said than done for me to wait on the sidelines. I know, right now I need to be focusing on all the things I set the intentions to do and that’s more or less discipline. Spirit’s talking to me through titles right now, they’re always talking to me one way or another.

I just watched a video and there was a gentlemen talking about how he was having a telepathic conversation with a consciousness from a higher intelligence through a security light and while most would find that odd I find it fascinating and can’t help but want to be that guy, why am I not having telepathic communications? This is exactly why you don’t compare yourself to others, and you especially don’t compare your journey against others journeys. No two journeys are alike, everybody’s is different and that’s a lot of journeys when you stop and think about it. My time will come, for everything, I just have to continue to hold my horses, which is hard when all you want to do is ride ’em.

 

I keep being reminded that there’s a lot happening behind the scenes that I do not see so it’s imperative I just be. I’ll never be silent though lol but I also don’t take everything in literal terms and I certainly wasn’t silent yesterday at work. Whoops. I don’t know if it was the right thing to say but I said it anyway, it wasn’t very diplomatic I can tell you that much but at the same time it was necessary. Hopefully this isn’t gossipy either but it’s definitely the sassy side of me that I do my best to keep at bay but sometimes I just can’t control myself, or my tongue because it came out before I had the chance to filter it. Which to me also means it was meant to be said and/or heard so there’s that.

Somebody had to stick up for this kid, or perhaps it was more (for me) about putting dad in his place. You don’t come into my store, it’s not my store but you know what I mean, you don’t come in and not only belittle and insult this child not only in front of me but to me and expect me to say nothing. Especially for someone who always roots for the underdog and has zero tolerance for bullying. I tolerate a lot of things but bullying isn’t one of ’em.

There was a family of four, they were the only customers at the time which now that I think about it may have been by design. Mind you, I had a total of 150+ customers yesterday at the register alone in a matter of a six hours. It’s summer time so it’s busy. From the second they walked in I could tell dad was a jerk and not just by his words, I could feel it too. You know what, that’s not very nice. I could tell dad wasn’t going to be my favorite. From the get go he was making fun of his son in a round about way but at that point it’s none of my business, right? So I’m just doing my thing and listening because I have no choice when the kid accidentally backed into a little statue we have in the store, it’s a little dude that people trip over occasionally so it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Before I get to the point a few other (little) things had already transpired, so much so that the son (who I’m assuming was in high school) had exited for a minute. My guess was that this obnoxious behavior dad was displaying was old news and was of the norm which sucks because what was also going through my mind at this point was man, those are some crappy life lessons that are unavoidable until you move out. Anyway, the son returned and tripped over the little dude and that’s when dad made it my business. He turned to me and said, “don’t mind my friend, he’s a little slow” and without missing a beat I told him well I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree then.

He took it in stride and played it off and he better, in my world if you can dish it out you better be able to take it, joking or not. It wasn’t long though before dad left the building and then I actually had a nice rest of the visit with mom, sister and son. I even felt a silent thank you coming from all three of ’em. Somebody had to do it and for whatever reason that doesn’t even matter it wasn’t mom. You have to understand though with people like that, they’ve got deeper issues with self-esteem and insecurity and they have this need to project that kind of behavior in order to make themselves feel better. It’s kind of sad really but again it’s all about life lessons and soul growth and family dynamics is the number one way we get them. But oof it’s also hard to watch when you know exactly what’s happening.

Needless to say I’m out of my funk because I know exactly what I need to do and that’s nothing lol. I will continue to focus on my journey, on my body and on my mind and patiently wait for my next train that I know is coming.

Love and Light