Trips, Trips and Friggin Coffee
Finally feeling better after a proper diagnosis and right medication. I’m telling ya it’s the little things you take for granted on a daily. Right up there with ice cream and tampons is feeling better thanks to medical attention. Costa Rica is actually known for it’s healthcare system, but you do have to be a citizen of course to take full advantage. $300 later though and I’m feeling more like myself.
I can’t but stop to think (and know) that that was also someone’s way of slowing me down and forcing me to go within and focus on myself. That is a big, if not, the main reason I’m here after all. So I did just that. And yes, I will have to admit it was very rewarding and without disclosing too much information at this juncture, was much needed. There’s no doubt in my mind that I am exactly where I need to be on this journey at exactly the right time with every moment that’s in the now.
One of my philosophies in life is that everything happens, good or bad, everything happens for a reason. And while sometimes it’s extremely difficult, believe me I know, you have to find the positive in every situation. You can’t let yourself get stuck in the suck cause it’ll just swallow you whole.
It’s true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, not to mention, wiser. Let me tell you, I’m one wise (ass) broad by now, not to mention queen of clichés. Oh how I am queen of clichés, you betcha.
“You have to find the positive in every situation…”
For example (you know I was gonna do it)
“The good die young”
Yes they do. We can use my mother as an example. Best human on the planet, never talked shit on anybody and wouldn’t hurt a fly (that was my dads job….great white hunter lol) She passed away waaaay before her time* but she went out with grace and class and all her natural beauty.
Nobody suffered, well that’s not completely true. She didn’t suffer. We kind of do. Of course it hurts, it hurts bad and everybody’s level is different but it eases with time and we will continue to miss her of course, but the suffrage is about your frame of mind.
I know that’s harder for some so I speak only for myself. Of course I miss her, with every fiber of my being, I mean here it is her birthday, I’ve been crying off and on all morning, and I’d give anything to celebrate it one more time. But I know I will be with her again because for me it’s not forever it’s just for now.
I also believe we all come into this world with a blueprint of our life already mapped out and when our time is up, our time is up. It sucks but we can’t control it so we have to accept it. It is what it is.
I can even back that up too, you wanna get deep, let’s get deep. I was a falling down drunk for ten years, for a solid decade I drank like an asshole. I don’t say alcoholic (that’s another story for another time) because I don’t associate with AA (it works wonders for some and that’s great, it just wasn’t for me).
I personally feel (trigger warning) at the end of the day, it’s a choice. Alcoholism runs deep in family, that’s no secret and don’t get me wrong, but whoever turned on that switch did me a favor and turned it off.
In fact, when my mom passed, I know there was a lot of people tip toing around me all nervous I was gonna fall back into that playground and hop back on that merry go round from hell. And with good reason, I don’t say drank like an asshole cause I was the fun drunk. I was in the beginning but it’s only a matter of time before it turns on ya.
“You wanna get deep, let’s get deep.”
My point is that someone way higher than any of us (we all know who I’m talking about) turned off my switch so I could reconnect with my mother. While she never gave up on me (remind me to tell you about my Rising Star Award yikes, another time) there was a point where I had put a wedge between myself and pretty much everybody in my life.
My brother was one phone call away from disowning me, no joke. And Cody Evans, I do feel like a complete jerk for what I put him through, he didn’t deserve the heartache and hell and he wasn’t a bad guy, he just wasn’t for me. I wish I would’ve told him that when I had the chance about a year and half ago, but I didn’t. My dumb ass just froze up instead.
Anyway, for the next two and half years we did so much. We took trips together and reconnected and we were once again the mother daughter duo from OC. For a while there we couldn’t go anywhere in Orange County without knowing SOMEBODY. Between El Dorado High School and Cal State Fullerton we almost had it covered lol.
Unforgettable trips too, the memories now are so priceless. First trip was to San Francisco to hang with her sister Susan and my cousin Odes, Jodi. What a blast. What a fucking blast, I don’t think Jodi and I had laughed that hard together probably since we were kids.
We even were blessed with the company of Aunt Devryl (love you) too. It was a great time, and the last time we would all be together in the same place.
Next was Uncle Steve’s, and you know that’s gonna be fun. It’s Uncle Steve, crazy, funny, best uncle in the world, Uncle Steve. Made some unforgettable and loving memories with Steve and Aunt Lori (love you) that will forever be cherished. That too was the last time we would all be together.
I have to share this story with you cause I think it’s hysterical and adorable. First you need to know that my mom was lovingly spoiled, It was no secret my dad doted on her every day with no complaints and no hesitation.
He made her coffee every single day, yep every single day for forty years. Every. Stinkin’. Day. Well that’s not true cause I kidnapped her for two trips and that’s where my point comes in. So on the trip at Uncle Steve’s one morning at the hotel.
Actually this trip must’ve come first because it was the first morning I had mom all to myself and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thinkin about her coffee since the night before. I was like shit, this is friggin’ high stress cause these are some big coffee shoes to fill.
“It’s not like dad’s”
So the next morning I went down to get her coffee and now that I think about it I probably should’ve paid more attention on my visits home. Hell, I could’ve asked. No, that wouldn’t have mattered. So anyway, I returned with her coffee all full of anticipation and excitement and tried so hard not to watch her take that sip. You know what she said?
“It’s not like dad’s”
I deflated like a farting balloon all the way to the floor lol. She didn’t drink her coffee that morning, or any other morning I was blessed with her presence lol.
I accepted defeat and we called it even but the look on her face was priceless. While she didn’t wanna hurt me feelings there was no way she could’ve hid it. Nope not a chance. It was great though. Fuck I miss her.
I think one cliché is good for today.
— Melissa Parker
— Your Friendly Neighborhood Fearless Leader