There’s no doubt in my mind I ended up in Huntington Beach and attending church for many reasons. Not a single one. One, the importance of forgiveness. Two, the power of prayer. Three, the true meaning of faith. And four, actually having a relationship with God. Honestly I didn’t see any of that on the docket when I started my journey LOL.
Do I agree with the Bible? Not all of it, no. There’s bits and pieces and parts of the Bible that I am extremely interested in learning but there’s also parts of the Bible that I certainly do not agree with. Say what you will I’ve already had this conversation with the big guy and I wasn’t struck by lightning. Although I kind of wish that I was LMAO, a little inside joke between me and my Spirit Guides.
Forgiveness is the gift we give to ourselves and while I already knew that and felt that I had forgiven people, we’ll just say it, my dad and my brother. While I had already forgiven them I don’t think I REALLY forgave them until I heard the service a couple weeks ago about forgiveness and it struck my heart to the point where now I don’t question it. I have.
Prayer is truly a powerful thing. I’ve seen crazy cool stuff at this chapel I’ve never seen before in my life, some with prayer and some without. My point is I do believe in the power of prayer and how I know I truly forgave my family is because I now pray for them (and mean it) because at the end of the day I’m all about love and light and don’t have the desire to carry resentment or hatred or grudges in my heart. And it’s certainly not my place to judge so by forgiving them and praying for them I’ve released that burden and its feels awesome. I love them both very much but it’s out of my hands now and for that I’m grateful.
Faith, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, one of the easiest yet hardest words to comprehend. But I’ve seen more often than not having exactly what I needed when I needed it and never feeling the lack. I may not have everything I want but I have everything I need which isnt much anymore. It hasn’t been easy living out of my car for the last three months but it’s exactly where I need to be and it’s exactly where most of my growth has happened and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. It’s not forever it’s just for now but again I’m in spiritual boot camp and I compare it to being back in my mother’s womb cause when it’s all said and done I will rebirth transforming into the woman I was meant to be fully understanding and engulfing myself in exactly what it is I’m here to do.
I joke because for somebody who doesn’t have a job, doesn’t have children and doesn’t have a man I’m pretty effing busy. I kid you not my days are over before they even start sometimes but that’s because I’ve taken learning to a whole nother level. I’m elevating even more of my knowledge to wisdom because anybody can obtain knowledge but it’s through experience that you gain wisdom. And you know what’s really funny is I remember a reading well over a year ago saying that I was going to end up with the homeless and boom here I am. I prefer residentially challenged myself LOL but I’ve gotten to know a lot of them really well. Everybody’s got a story, everybody wants to be heard, everybody wants to know the truth and that’s a big part of why I’m here.
The church is a stepping stone for me because I’ve gained a lot of wisdom and knowledge from my time spent attending, not to mention meeting an amazing congregation where everybody’s genuine and everybody’s kind. But not everybody’s going to agree with the things that I have to say.
I like to ask those awkward questions that people either don’t have the answer or don’t wanna answer or shut you down real quick. I haven’t asked them at my church yet because I haven’t studied ’em enough but for example I want to know about the Book of Enoch. I want to know about the Gospel of Thomas. A lot of people don’t want to talk about those but when you’re in search of the truth you have to ask questions. The Bible was edited….by who, who got to decide what goes in and what stays out? I’ve got a problem with that. Withholding information is equivalent to lying as far as I’m concerned.
For me personally and my beliefs, The Book of Enoch at least, rings a little true in my world. I studied that one enough to know that there’s evidence of a lot of it. Do your own homework but I’m just saying that faith, forgiveness and God are just a big pieces to the puzzle of life.
I was placed in my car on that particular street in front of that certain chapel, locked my keys in my car and then while sitting there waiting for AAA to come and unlock my car I heard clear as day “I’ll bet you there’s a message in there for you” and here I am three months later and it’s been life-changing.
And not only does God work in mysterious ways but he also works in miraculous ways because I’ll tell you what two weeks ago or whatever there was a drunk driver that side swiped two cars (one of ’em was undriveable) where I always park and had I not been house sitting in Newport Beach it would’ve been me. Do I think God put me at Megan’s house for a few days to keep me out of harm’s way? 100%!
Transparency. Sometimes tough but certainly pertinent.
Love and Light