I’m happy to report that my back is better this morning. Just like that, the pain is gone as quick as it arrived a week ago. I can’t help but believe that it was set in place, like all the other scenarios, to teach me a little something, something. It reminds me of the movie I watched yesterday that put a lot into perspective. The Art of Life, a delightful documentary about this guy who lives a non-conventional life in Maui. What stood out the most was when he said that all true teachings come from moving towards greater equanimity.
Equanimity by definition is mental or emotional stability. It’s about keeping one’s composure, especially under tension or strain. It’s a calmness and equilibrium. Everything I’ve gone through, since day one of my awakening really, but especially in the last year has been to teach me how to keep my composure. How not to lose my head when challenges arise. How not to be phased with the constant noise of gardeners, sirens, tree cutting and horn honking right outside my bedroom window when I’m trying to concentrate.
These last couple months alone have made quite the impact on my even-temperedness and I think it’s fair to say I’m pretty level headed. Still a work in progress of course but when I think about who I was and how I use to react to certain situations, I can’t help but be proud of how far I’ve come. It has literally been one thing after another and there’s been many times I wanted to quit because I just wanted a ‘normal’ life.
My growth has been exponential and all my outlandish situations and unexplainable ailments, all set in place by the universe to teach me inner balance and emotional stability. Everything is for purpose to teach me how to be the gazelle. I love this Joe Dispenza teaching referencing the gazelle that even after running for it’s life is then able to go right back to grazing the grasslands like nothing happened. There’s been quite a few times I’ve told myself to be the gazelle, forget about it and move forward.
Every button pushed, every eye roll, every curse word whether silent or otherwise and all the deep breaths to bring me back to center, all for purpose. Even the simple ones such as certain letters on my keyboard not working one day and then fine the next. Lights, fans and heaters not working one minute and then an hour later totally fine. It’s teaching me how to find solutions without losing my head. All set in place to bring me one step closer to be who I came here to be. It’s never too late to be what you always could’ve been. My gratitude is beyond measure.
Kryon brought something to my attention yesterday as well with his scientist searching for the solution analogy. It’s a story about the scientist who’s desperately looking for the answer that he’s certain is right in front of his face. No matter what he does he can’t find the solution so there comes a point when he stops working the puzzle and calls it a day. He opts to watch a movie where he essentially disengages completely and it’s when he disengages the mind that voila, suddenly the solution arrives.
It’s not the first time I’ve heard this analogy but it is appropriate for where I’m at. I know I’m close but there comes a point when I too have to disengage from trying so hard. I was reminded that the barrier I know is there that’s potentially keeping me from things is slowly dissolving all on it’s own. There’s not much effort needed at this point other than the intent to go beyond it. Even forcing my meditations in a way can hinder my next steps, forcing anything only causes resistance so all I need to do is just allow myself to be.
There is a mechanism that you don’t understand, that you don’t know about that is so powerful, that remembers and recognizes when you drop your logic and simply allow it to happen.
While I’m so eager to move forward, effortless is the name of the game. There is a greater power at play here, everything is unfolding naturally so there’s no need to force or overthink which can be prove to be challenging when you’re excited for what’s next. The barrier that can keep me disconnected is the very thing I thought might solve it and that’s my logic. All my survival instinct, all my smarts as a human being, I have to let it all go.
Don’t try to figure out how things happen or they won’t happen, not with the new energy of where we’re going. Trust the unknown and know that you’re in the hands of God.
As I was finishing up this teaching from Kryon something inside me said to look outside my bedroom window and when I did I let out this burst of laughter. I saw the lamp lit up all yellow as bright as a the sun. You know, the lamp that doesn’t even work. There’s a few lamps on that porch and none of ’em work, they’re just decoration.
This is the same lamp that maybe a year ago I wrote about how it blinked however many times, like a blinker, one night. I really want to say it blinked orange too. Little winks from Spirit to tell me I’m right where I’m supposed to be and especially that that teaching from Kryon was speaking directly to me.
It’s not always easy to let go of logic, it’s even harder to drop the survival but that’s where I’m at. I’m at the point where I’ve experienced enough magic to be able to completely let go and trust the unseen with all I’ve got, it’s unwavering faith. Everything arrives in due time, the resources, the answers, the way forward, the path, everything. It’s not easy but it is an elegant solution when you finally figure it out.
Fear is a product of intellectualism, it comes from the brain. It comes from the computer that says don’t touch the stove because you’ll get burned. It doesn’t come from Spirit, it doesn’t come from intuition, it comes from the brain, it’s a learned behavior. Now I’m being asked to disengage from the very thing that has kept me alive so to speak. I have to learn to balance the survival with the heart and the pineal gland. I have to let the trilogy work within me and simply let the logic go.
What lies ahead is almost larger than life, I don’t know what it is but I know it’s coming. I have to drop the logic because the very solution I’m looking for is right there in front of me, with my name on it, waiting for me to stop thinking about it. Something is fated and destined so there’s no need to ask how. The ‘how do I’ isn’t going to work anyway with a multidimensional human being who’s an old soul who is now learning things they couldn’t possibly know.
You don’t know what you don’t know. How could I possibly work a puzzle when I don’t have all the pieces because the pieces have never been experienced before, not in this lifetime and not even in this dimension. My three dimensional logic doesn’t apply to the energy of magic that’s waiting to come in.
I’ll tell you what I do know, I know that lamp lighting up outside is the third time I’ve seen it shine for me. I was also nudged to look outside about a week ago. This was after I literally said out loud that I was going to need some confirmation for the information coming in. I was being somewhat of a smarty pants because I had just received a ton of information regarding the new human superpowers that were coming in, but that however is a conversation for another day.
Love and Light