There’s no sense in worrying about the things you can’t control is the thought form of a sentence that keeps making an appearance in my mind. Worrying about something doesn’t change the outcome so why bother. It’s a concept that is much easier said than done which is part of the process I’m going through right now. I’m reprogramming my brain and changing how I perceive things. It’s psychological, it’s mental and can be challenging at times.
There’s no doubt in my mind that everything will work itself out, that’s not the problem. The problem is waiting for the solutions to arrive. It’s the simple things in life that I’m longing for. I think my exact words the other day were all I want to do is pay my bills and be held. It’s the simple things we tend to take for granted and with almost half a year under my belt of isolation I’m starting to feel the effects of needing connection, and affection.
The friends I did have left have slowly but surely exited my stage and I can’t help but feel frustrated with knowing that stuff falls away in life in order to make room for the new. Well, where’s my new is the question I’m asking lately. Two steps forward, one step back. My masterpiece of the mundane is feeling more like a Picasso painting these days.
Ironically enough, and pretty funny now that I think about it, his paintings tend to be messy because he’s breaking all the traditional rules of what art is supposed to look like. They say he abandoned clean, realistic art to capture deeper truths about human emotion and perception. Is it any wonder Picasso is the very analogy that came to my mind when I needed a masterpiece to compare my life to.
I can’t just share the good stuff though because it’s not all airy fairy and today I just want it to end. Truth be told that’s what I said two nights ago. I literally said, out loud, that I didn’t even want to metamorphosize anymore, I just wanted to live a normal life and like I mentioned before, pay my bills and be held by someone who cared about my well-being.
I had to be specific because the last time I was feeling ho hum I said all I wanted was a hug. Be careful what you wish for because throughout the following week, I ran into people and received those hugs. On my trips down to the beach I ran into an old coworker, my old pastor, a random stranger, and then a week later it was Easter Sunday. It was pretty funny when I realized that’s exactly what I had asked for, I got my hugs.
Two nights ago I was over it and didn’t have a problem expressing it. Yesterday morning I had to redo my last article because my paragraphs stopped double spacing, I don’t know why, so I simply reset it which meant I had to redo the whole thing. When I was typing the part about my body vibrating I couldn’t help but notice that my body wasn’t vibrating. My level of concern raised the bar real quick when I realized what I said the night before.
My next course of action was to have a convo with Spirit and let everyone know I was just kidding, I still wanted to metamorphosize, I was just having a hard time but was better now. It then dawned on me that it was my cells I needed to be talking to so I repeated it to my cells as I kissed my knee. May be something, may be nothing but we all know how I feel about coincidences. About ten minutes later my body was vibrating again and actually went into a little overdrive. And I’m happy to report I’m still vibrating as I type.
Perhaps I’m feeling a little down in the dumps because my heart’s going out to Africa. They’re getting hit hard with Ebola and the fact that they’re rolling out a new vaccine for just that. I can’t help but wonder if it’s all happening because Africa is the continent with the lowest amount of COVID vaccinations, it’s substantially low compared to the rest of us. In my opinion, nothing says community like Africa says community and let’s not forget that they’re highly spiritual, and if you ask me, more connected to nature than anyone else.
Ethiopia, from what I understand, is also the only nation to have the complete Book of Enoch included as canonical scripture in the official Bible. I don’t about you, but I don’t have to do much math to read the writing on the wall. My heart goes out to Africa. In fact I just finished, or am about to finish a musical meditation with Ubuntu. I felt called to write this article with maybe twenty minutes left. As I lay there listening I visualize peace and healing for the whole continent and every being inhabiting it.
I recently learned about data centers as well which puts a bad taste in my mouth. Makes me think twice about wanting to use AI for pictures, for anything really, which stinks because I was having fun with it. Anytime you google something it uses a data center so it’s almost unavoidable. Overall though, data centers are beyond detrimental for the environment, not to mention people. The whole world is getting hit hard and I can’t help but feel it deeper than I want to.
There’s no spiritual bypassing here, I’m aware of what’s happening but also know there’s not much I can do at this point. Everything happens for a reason, it’s just hard to swallow sometimes. Writing makes me feel better and I do appreciate the fact that I feel better having expressed myself with this article. There’s also a full moon in Sagittarius right now. I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing, while taking deep breaths here and there, and keep my chin up while I wait for what’s to come.
Love and Light